Of all the sins to commit, heckling has got to be one of the most fun. Tearing down someone else while building yourself up–who knew it could be so fun?
We all know who they are and try to conceal our laughter at their antics and maintain a straight face for fear of our girlfriend’s judgment, but we really just want to join them. Every decent team’s got one, and every visiting team hates them; they are the infamous hecklers.
Now, as a heckler, you serve multiple purposes. The first and most important is to distract the other team and affect their play. Next is to be of help to your own team, and thirdly, you have got to have some good quips for the entertainment of the crowd around you.
Regardless of whether you support heckling, there is no doubting its effectiveness. There are few better ways to take a key player from the opposing team out of a game mentally than by making “yo mama” jokes from the sideline.
So, for those of you interested in taking up the art, or those current hecklers looking for a few new tips, here is a basic course in heckling; let’s call it Heckling 101, it’s a new class offered in the speech communications department.
Heckling 101 Course Overview:
Pick one: On every team there is one guy who thinks he is the hot ‘S’-word. He’ll probably be wearing a headband, gold or chrome shoes, have an earring, a sterling silver cross necklace, or have a ridiculous haircut, or maybe even a combination these.
Pick him and never let him go. Often times he may be able to back up his flash with some pretty good skills, but that is why you’ve got to tear down the opponent’s poster-boy. If you get him, you’ll be in good shape. He’s a leader, but he’s also a hothead with thin skin you can easily get under. Make sure to just pick on him throughout the game.
Judge him at face value. Identify him by his number if you must, but even better would be to reference him by one of his silly flashy accessories as aforementioned in the “Pick one” stage. Either of these options will work well, but if you can get your hands on a visiting team roster, and call him by his first name, you’ve hit the jackpot. The more personal, the better when it comes to heckling.
Choose your attack method. Once you’ve picked out your target and acquired his name, it’s time to step it up a notch. It is at this point you need to make a crucial decision to be a solo heckler or to get the crowd involved. The first option allows for more creative license, but the second allows for the full cheering section to get on your target athlete. If you go with the crowd involvement option, it is important you keep your chants to a strict three-count for a crisp message [i.e. “You got swatted! Clap-clap, clap-clap-clap (x3)].
Get personal. This portion deals with the actual content of your hurled insults. In general, the most penetrating things to shout involve public embarrassment. Shouts of, “Have a little class!” and “You’re an embarrassment!” are generally two of the cruelest (yet most effective) messages utilized by hecklers.
Background Research. For established hecklers, often times they may expand their options by utilizing other sources of information for trash talking. While an EBSCO search may be a little extensive, a brief Google search could pay dividends. It may take you to their Facebook or MySpace page. If they actually have a MySpace it offers a great opportunity to hate on their poor choice of social networking sites and obvious obsession with Tila Tequila. Is this a bit stalker-like? Yes, but who’s going to be pointing the finger when you yell at them on the field about their “it’s complicated” relationship status.
When it comes to heckling, it is hard to say what is OK and what takes it too far. As a whole, it may not be the most moral way to take in a sporting event, but there will always be hecklers in any crowd. So, love them or hate them, they’re just trying to play their negativist role for the team they support by verbally tearing down the other team.
Contact Colin Zalewski at editor@whitworthian.com.
Sports Talk: Heckling: a how-to guide
Colin Zalewski, Sports Columnist
Published: Monday, November 23, 2009
Updated: Monday, November 23, 2009
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