Professional athletes are gifted in ways most of us cannot even fathom. Whether it’s making a one-handed catch in the end zone, pointing out where they’re going to hit a homerun or bringing a gun to a basketball game (Why Gilbert Arenas? Why?), athletes never cease to amaze us. And that’s why we love them. We are drawn by their inexplicable, at times seemingly inhuman, abilities on the field or court.
But this article is not about tooting the horns of the world’s best athletes. In fact, it’s about athletes tooting horns, literally. You see, there is a reason why we like our athletes on the field or court, not in the recording booth.
Last Friday I went downtown to the Empyrean to see Stockholm (hooray Whitworth), Noah Gundersen (hooray Seattle) and La Bamba (Portland in all its v-neck and flannel strangeness). It was an excellent show; ask anyone who was there. But what does this have to do with our love for athletes on the field and our dislike of them in the recording booth?
Recently, identical twins Bob and Mike Bryan, one of the top tennis doubles teams in the world, released an album. The album, titled “Let it Rip,” includes a rap about signing autographs featuring Novak Djokovic and Andy Murray, two of the top singles players in the world.
I didn’t think much of it before when athletes put out albums, but I draw the line here. I just got done watching some quality live music at the Empyrean with bands working hard to make something of themselves, and then I turn around and Bob and Mike are putting out a big album, what these bands are working so hard toward.
Life isn’t fair, and that’s a fact. But as a sports enthusiast and a lover of music, it is saddening for real bands who work hard to achieve their dream whilst wealthy tennis players drop an album in their spare time. It’s unjust I tell you.
I don’t want to put all the heat on Bob and Mike though. They are just some of the most recent in a long line of athletes using their financial power to dip their toe in the waters of the musical world.
Big mouth Deion Sanders, boxing sensation Oscar de la Hoya (got to love that Latin “flava”), NBA bad-boy Ron Artest and Mr. three-in-the-key Shaquille O’Neal (I know, two weeks in a row, but it’s too easy with Shaq Daddy) have all released albums.
So what have we learned? Athletes are better where they belong, on the field or court. Also, the hard work of musicians is worth noting. Especially with wannabe athletes always intruding on their space. You don’t see Taylor Swift strapping on a helmet and hitting the gridiron.
Musicians, we love you. Keep up the good work. Athletes, we love you too. Just don’t get carried away with your musical dreams. The band’s not going to make it.
Contact Colin Zalewski at editor@whitworthian.com.
Jock Strip: Pro Athletes: Step away from the mic
Published: Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Updated: Tuesday, February 23, 2010
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