 "Photo: Aileen Benson/Whitworthian")
Men of Whitworth, there be many a beauteous sea maid swimming the wide ocean of Whitworth’s campus. With all the lovely women mulling about waiting for your advances, why should you limit yourself to a single lass in a long-term relationship? Women of Whitworth, there be many men for you to take in your arms, to wile with your charms. Why date one man only when there is such a selection of satisfying studliness? We often look for rings by spring around here, but casual dating might not be such a bad thing.
When I came to Whitworth, I was already dating someone, and now the two of us are engaged. I never really got to tap into the dating scene here, and I have never really dated casually. No, I am a serial monogamist, and I take my women seriously. However, blessed as I am to have such a wonderful fiancee, the concept of casual dating has always had a sort of, well, romantic aura about it.
If you limit yourself to dating solely to find a marriage partner, then you might miss out on the many things that dating multiple people has to offer you. I don’t suggest that you go out and become passionate lovers with a new person every week. I only suggest connecting with various people of the opposite sex in a lightly romantic way and that you enrich yourself by doing so.
My previous girlfriend loved dancing. By dating her, I had someone with whom I could practice my salsa and cha cha. I am not a dancing man, but I was able to enjoy and practice dancing because of her. I consider myself enriched because of my dating experience with her.
My fiancée loves to bake, and when I hang out with her I end up baking a lot, and I am happy that I get to do that.
In my dating relationships, I have taken good things away from my partners because I get to participate in their interests, and doing so with them makes whatever I am doing more interesting. I thereby gain life experiences that I may not have engaged in so fully were it not for my girlfriends. I would be loathe to have passed up those moments.
Fond memories and valuable experiences are not the only things I have gained from the women in my life. I have also learned much about myself. I have found myself facing my own lack of patience in ways other people just can’t provoke, and I am better for having learned from those instances. By seeing how my girlfriends’ personalities have differed from mine, I have learned more about my own personality. Each girl I have dated has offered me practice in being attentive, kind, romantic, open and loving.
By dating a wider variety of people at a casual level, I would have had, presumably, even more memorable times and moments of self-knowledge. It follows that many of the people at Whitworth who delve straight into that long-term dating relationship may very well miss out on the personal enrichment that comes from dating different people.
Now, to prevent my being misinterpreted, I am not saying that you should all make out with as many people as possible or anything like that. Whatever your standards are, don’t do things that you will regret later. If you would feel ashamed by making out with multiple girls, or if that would likely hurt those girls, then don’t do that. Instead, have fun with them, hang out, take advantage of what they have to offer as people and give them flowers, but reserve serious affection for the person with whom you intend to have a long-term relationship.
Of course, if you are a lusty Don Juan or Juanita, and you must give the old lip lock and fondle to every passing fancy, then my moral reservations aren’t going to keep you from that. Be considerate of your dates’ feelings. If you have found that long-term someone, don’t go breaking things off because you’re afraid you will miss out on life; but if you are still waiting for that person, play the field if you feel like it. You don’t need to go for that ring-by-spring romance if you don’t want to, and it is fine to date casually. Each person you date will inevitably show you something, no matter how minute it may seem, about who you are and about what life has to offer. Enjoy life: enjoy the opposite sex.
Swayne is a senior majoring in English. Comments can be sent to josh.swayne@whitworthian.com.
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