2008 Woodie Awards
Talking about sex in your relationship builds trust
Nichole Betts, Staff Writer
Issue date: 2/27/07
Last Updated: 8/9/07
I have several friends who have made the choice to have sex with their boy- or girlfriends. In my opinion, as long as they are safe and realize that this decision can, and most likely will, change their relationship, I'm fine with it. But if my friends were going around sleeping different people every Friday night, I'd have a problem.
However, like I said last week, I think that most Whitworth students would disagree with my choice to love my friends for who they are rather than chastising them for being intimate with their boy or girlfriend. Again, safety is my first concern, followed by my friends' emotional health. Incidentally, sex comes with emotional changes and it's not just about physical attraction.
A Whitworth couple
One of my friends was kind enough to share some of her experiences with me about when she started talking with her friends her sexual relationship with her boyfriend. I've decided to call them Jenny and Craig for this illustration since I can't find a couple on Facebook with these names. Jenny and Craig have been together for 1 year and three months.
"Craig and I moved into having an intimate relationship during this school year, but it was a difficult topic to approach with just anyone," Jenny said. "I am blessed with incredibly supportive friends and yet I feel reluctant to share this portion of my relationship with them, let alone ask about theirs."
Jenny feels more comfortable talking about sex in spontaneous, comfortable situations with women who are in committed relationships, rather than planning conversations. She thinks that talking with her usual clique of friends is an entirely different atmosphere.
I'd agree. Anytime someone in my group of friends brings up sex, inevitably, one of the guys says something … um … distasteful, and the conversation goes downhill from there. Frequency and length of encounters (both real and imaginary) are common themes.
Jenny said she wanted to talk to her friends about sex, not only for the sake of answering questions, but so she was able to discuss the benefits and disadvantages of sex in her relationship with people who would meet her on an humble, "I've been there" level.
However, like I said last week, I think that most Whitworth students would disagree with my choice to love my friends for who they are rather than chastising them for being intimate with their boy or girlfriend. Again, safety is my first concern, followed by my friends' emotional health. Incidentally, sex comes with emotional changes and it's not just about physical attraction.
A Whitworth couple
One of my friends was kind enough to share some of her experiences with me about when she started talking with her friends her sexual relationship with her boyfriend. I've decided to call them Jenny and Craig for this illustration since I can't find a couple on Facebook with these names. Jenny and Craig have been together for 1 year and three months.
"Craig and I moved into having an intimate relationship during this school year, but it was a difficult topic to approach with just anyone," Jenny said. "I am blessed with incredibly supportive friends and yet I feel reluctant to share this portion of my relationship with them, let alone ask about theirs."
Jenny feels more comfortable talking about sex in spontaneous, comfortable situations with women who are in committed relationships, rather than planning conversations. She thinks that talking with her usual clique of friends is an entirely different atmosphere.
I'd agree. Anytime someone in my group of friends brings up sex, inevitably, one of the guys says something … um … distasteful, and the conversation goes downhill from there. Frequency and length of encounters (both real and imaginary) are common themes.
Jenny said she wanted to talk to her friends about sex, not only for the sake of answering questions, but so she was able to discuss the benefits and disadvantages of sex in her relationship with people who would meet her on an humble, "I've been there" level.
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