2008 Woodie Awards
iHip, iCool, iMac: Apple proves it's the apple of my i
Daniel Walters, Opinions Editor
Issue date: 2/20/07
Last Updated: 8/9/07
In developing Windows, Microsoft used the even better strategy of idea-stealing from the Macintosh. They moved the Start Bar to the bottom, changed the "Trash Bin" to the "Recycle Bin," and wrote the words "Not a" above "Macintosh," with Sharpie.
People switched to Windows when realized they wanted a computer that could, you know, do things. The Macintosh ran a grand total of three games: Myst, Where in the Hell is Carmen Sandiego and the ClarisWorks spreadsheet.
Windows 95, named after the number of Martin Luther's Theses, made creator Bill Gates enough money to afford that solar system he'd always wanted.
Apple responded with the iMac, which took the concept of the personal computer and reinvented it as a personal computer with pretty colors on the outside.
These colors had such delectable names like "Blue Raspberry," "Strawberry Passion Fruit Awareness," "Kiwi Sublime" and "Smoked Salmon."
(Sadly, like M&Ms, each iMac tasted exactly the same.)
No longer were computers clunky bourgeois boxes of drab grey utility! They were artistry, a way for the soul to cast off the shackles of monotony and run naked through the meadow of free expression.
(Most people preferred their meadows of free expression to have more than one mouse button, however, and stuck with Windows.)
Still, the iMac had vaulted Apple beyond the realm of product. It was more than just a brand. It was an idea. Nay! It was an iDea.
The media buzzed about the revolutionary concept of putting an "i" in front of the word Mac. "What does it stand for?" journalists asked.
"It can stand for anything you want!" Apple CEO Steve Jobs said. "Imagination! Ingenuity! Independence!"
The journalists joined in. "Igloo! Ichthyosaur! Ichabod Crane!"
Soon the lowercase "i" went from novelty to ubiquity. Apple launched a slew of iProducts, including the iLand, the iClaudius, the iBuprofen, the iAyeCap'n and the curiously unsuccessful iSoar.
People switched to Windows when realized they wanted a computer that could, you know, do things. The Macintosh ran a grand total of three games: Myst, Where in the Hell is Carmen Sandiego and the ClarisWorks spreadsheet.
Windows 95, named after the number of Martin Luther's Theses, made creator Bill Gates enough money to afford that solar system he'd always wanted.
Apple responded with the iMac, which took the concept of the personal computer and reinvented it as a personal computer with pretty colors on the outside.
These colors had such delectable names like "Blue Raspberry," "Strawberry Passion Fruit Awareness," "Kiwi Sublime" and "Smoked Salmon."
(Sadly, like M&Ms, each iMac tasted exactly the same.)
No longer were computers clunky bourgeois boxes of drab grey utility! They were artistry, a way for the soul to cast off the shackles of monotony and run naked through the meadow of free expression.
(Most people preferred their meadows of free expression to have more than one mouse button, however, and stuck with Windows.)
Still, the iMac had vaulted Apple beyond the realm of product. It was more than just a brand. It was an idea. Nay! It was an iDea.
The media buzzed about the revolutionary concept of putting an "i" in front of the word Mac. "What does it stand for?" journalists asked.
"It can stand for anything you want!" Apple CEO Steve Jobs said. "Imagination! Ingenuity! Independence!"
The journalists joined in. "Igloo! Ichthyosaur! Ichabod Crane!"
Soon the lowercase "i" went from novelty to ubiquity. Apple launched a slew of iProducts, including the iLand, the iClaudius, the iBuprofen, the iAyeCap'n and the curiously unsuccessful iSoar.
For this reason, The Whitworthian asks readers to be responsible and respectful in any comments posted. The responsibility for statements posted lies with the person submitting the comment, not the whitworthian.com. Readers are also encouraged to report questionable comments by e-mailing editor@whitworthian.com.
Be the first to comment on this story