2008 Woodie Awards
Follow Bush and win a trip to Iran
Galen Sanford, Staff Writer
Issue date: 2/20/07
Last Updated: 8/9/07
Bush is at it again. He's begun targeting Iranians in Iraq. Next up: Iranians in Iran. Bush is going to convince you, the American public, that Iran aids terrorists, possesses weapons of mass destruction, is run by a dictator who eats babies for breakfast, and that Iran definitely has nothing to do with oil. He's going to claim the only moral (key word: moral) action for the United States is to save the babies, find the WMD's, kill the terrorists and make sure Iran has nothing to do with their own oil. Here's the kicker: you're going to let him.
How am I so sure? Because you don't really care. Let's be honest: invading Iran won't really affect the average U.S. citizen. In fact, war correlates to a stronger economy thanks to deficit spending. However, the effect in Iran itself will be stark if Iraq is any sign. According to a recent study by Johns Hopkins University, about 655,000 Iraqis have died due to the invasion. Compare that with the more than 3,000 U.S. citizens who have died, and it makes sense that we're ambivalent: war's going to hurt them way more than us. So, you're going to complain about the Bush Foreign Policy to your friends, or you're going to complain about the whiny liberals, but either way, you're going to let Bush invade Iran. Because he's going to save us from Terror.
Sept. 11, 2001, was what, five years ago? Some 2,800 people died that day. In the five years since, the United States casualty count has doubled. And not one of those 3,000 soldiers has been killed by an al Qaeda operative. In fact, al Qaeda hasn't succeeded in a single plot against the United States since 9/11. They've only tried a handful of times, according to the Bush administration. Some would say their unsuccess is because of the Patriot Act and the War on Terror. I say it's because there aren't many al Qaeda operatives anyway, and they don't see a reason to attack again; we're already terrified. The fact is it took them eight years to plan a second attack on the World Trade Center after the failed 1993 attempt. So there's a few thousand terrorists shooting the breeze, and yet the most militaristic nation on earth has mobilized its entire military in an incredibly expensive, civil-liberties violating, twice as deadly war against them, ad infinitum. You're aware of this war; you authorized it.
How am I so sure? Because you don't really care. Let's be honest: invading Iran won't really affect the average U.S. citizen. In fact, war correlates to a stronger economy thanks to deficit spending. However, the effect in Iran itself will be stark if Iraq is any sign. According to a recent study by Johns Hopkins University, about 655,000 Iraqis have died due to the invasion. Compare that with the more than 3,000 U.S. citizens who have died, and it makes sense that we're ambivalent: war's going to hurt them way more than us. So, you're going to complain about the Bush Foreign Policy to your friends, or you're going to complain about the whiny liberals, but either way, you're going to let Bush invade Iran. Because he's going to save us from Terror.
Sept. 11, 2001, was what, five years ago? Some 2,800 people died that day. In the five years since, the United States casualty count has doubled. And not one of those 3,000 soldiers has been killed by an al Qaeda operative. In fact, al Qaeda hasn't succeeded in a single plot against the United States since 9/11. They've only tried a handful of times, according to the Bush administration. Some would say their unsuccess is because of the Patriot Act and the War on Terror. I say it's because there aren't many al Qaeda operatives anyway, and they don't see a reason to attack again; we're already terrified. The fact is it took them eight years to plan a second attack on the World Trade Center after the failed 1993 attempt. So there's a few thousand terrorists shooting the breeze, and yet the most militaristic nation on earth has mobilized its entire military in an incredibly expensive, civil-liberties violating, twice as deadly war against them, ad infinitum. You're aware of this war; you authorized it.
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