2008 Woodie Awards
HUMOR: Dreaming is to Freud as chocolate is to Wonka ...
Daniel Walters, Opinions Editor
Issue date: 12/5/06
Last Updated: 12/29/07
Sometimes, as I secretly watch you sleep, I wonder what's running through your head. What jolly absurdities are gallivanting through your dreams?
A ferret? Really? And why exactly was Loretta the Lunch Lady there?
Are dreams our soul's way of expressing its longing to skate through the stars, chase the rainbow, and skip through the verdant fields of imagination?
No. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
But anyone who's ever had a dream can't help but ponder: What the crap? What did that mean?
Only one man knows the answer. I give you … the sultan of sublimation, the prince of projection, the wizard of id, he puts the 'psycho' in the word psycho-therapy, please give an overcompensating welcome to Mr. Sigmund "The Siggster" Freud!
Sigmund Freud was a unique observer of the human condition, usually with binoculars hiding in the shrubbery. Freud was the first psychologist to explore the idea of the subconscious. Essentially, if a girl says she wants me to stop calling her, even if she thinks she wants me to stop calling her, what she really wants, deep down, is for me to call her more often. Freud not only practically invented psychotherapy, he also single-handedly pioneered the phrases "If you know what I mean," "That's what she said," and "Giggety Giggety."
(Also, from what I hear, Sigmund's Mom had it going on.)
The convenient thing about Freud's method of dream analysis is that, whatever the dream, there's only one interpretation:
"Hey, Doc. Had the craziest dream last night … dreamt I was working in the field, you know, binding grain and what have you, when suddenly my sheaf stands up, blinks a couple times - all anthropomorphized and crap - and all my brothers' sheaves bow down to mine. Whaddya make of that?"
"Hee hee hee. Joe, you are one sick cat, you know that? I mean there's perverted and then there's perverted. How do you even sleep at night! Oh that's right, having twisted little grain fantasies. Now let's get back to talking about your sibling issues, daddy issues and penchant for garish clothing."
A ferret? Really? And why exactly was Loretta the Lunch Lady there?
Are dreams our soul's way of expressing its longing to skate through the stars, chase the rainbow, and skip through the verdant fields of imagination?
No. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
But anyone who's ever had a dream can't help but ponder: What the crap? What did that mean?
Only one man knows the answer. I give you … the sultan of sublimation, the prince of projection, the wizard of id, he puts the 'psycho' in the word psycho-therapy, please give an overcompensating welcome to Mr. Sigmund "The Siggster" Freud!
Sigmund Freud was a unique observer of the human condition, usually with binoculars hiding in the shrubbery. Freud was the first psychologist to explore the idea of the subconscious. Essentially, if a girl says she wants me to stop calling her, even if she thinks she wants me to stop calling her, what she really wants, deep down, is for me to call her more often. Freud not only practically invented psychotherapy, he also single-handedly pioneered the phrases "If you know what I mean," "That's what she said," and "Giggety Giggety."
(Also, from what I hear, Sigmund's Mom had it going on.)
The convenient thing about Freud's method of dream analysis is that, whatever the dream, there's only one interpretation:
"Hey, Doc. Had the craziest dream last night … dreamt I was working in the field, you know, binding grain and what have you, when suddenly my sheaf stands up, blinks a couple times - all anthropomorphized and crap - and all my brothers' sheaves bow down to mine. Whaddya make of that?"
"Hee hee hee. Joe, you are one sick cat, you know that? I mean there's perverted and then there's perverted. How do you even sleep at night! Oh that's right, having twisted little grain fantasies. Now let's get back to talking about your sibling issues, daddy issues and penchant for garish clothing."
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